First Week Back

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 01:12:37 GMT

It's my first week back in college.... I'm finally almost finished with school and yet... I'm already tired of being here. Last Monday I got into my car and just drove... I almost didn't come back. I want to... it's been... almost like I just want to get away from it all.

I'm taking Exceptional Child and I have to read 3 chapters for the next class.... plus 6 handouts. HELLO, it was the first day yesterday... *SIGH*

Then I'm in Group Dynamics, which for those who don't know is a class where you learn about different types of group counseling. It's also now a class where you are in a counseling like session for an hour and a half with your fellow classmates... The issue today was trust. You've been with these students for a year now, worked with them closely last quarter, do you trust them? Lucky for me... they didn't ask me. My answer would have been, "No.... I trust no one except for the characters in my story... Why... because they can't back stab me. I don't even trust my boyfriend fully... or myself for that matter. Why should I trust you?" I know I'm going to hate it... I can't be in group settings like that I feel.... Let's just hope no one asks me ANYTHING.... this will be the class I fail for standing up and walking out... I can see it now.

Anyway, that's all for now... I just.... *SIGH*

My life is like a novel... it's kinda boring when you first look at it,
when you first start. Then you get into the middle, the part where all the exciting things happen. WOW BIG CLIMATIC PART!!

I'm still waiting for the happy ending... or any ending at all.

Life... YUCK!

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 17:56:21 GMT

So, I finally thought I had everything going well for me. See, here I am in college, looking to buy my own house. I've been living with my boyfriend now for almost three years, we've been dating four year Aug. 31... I finally have extra money to spend on myself, I finally have some free time to write. I finally think everything is going to go like it's suppose to... and it all falls down.

I'm out of money again, the loan isn't going through, my car just broke down and I have no way to get to the last three weeks of classes, my boyfriend is out of a job so he doesn't have extra money right now, and the his aunt, who we're staying with since his mom booted us is getting tired of us being there and is going to push us out onto the streets soon. All this stress, pressure, work, running around, getting up early so I can get stuff down around the house, get to work, get to school, go to classes, eat, sleep... I'm under so much stress even people who never talk to me can tell... I'm just so tired of fighting and pushing and trying to do anything right it's killing me. I have no free time anymore. I have no life. I don't even know when I'm pushing and struggling to do my school work anymore, my grades have been dropping for so long now cause I can't think. I can't work... I just want to lay down and say FINE! I GIVE UP! JUST LET ME BE NOW, I'LL STOP TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING OF MYSELF AND I'LL JUST BE A LOSER THE REST OF MY STUPID DAMN LIFE!!

nevah_ann

First Week Back

Life... YUCK!